My Story

Ever since I was a kid, my dream was to play professional football. After trials with several clubs, the joy I once had for the sport was gone and I chose to go to university, instead. At the time, I viewed this decision as a failure to achieve my only aim in life. I was left feeling lost and without an identity but, unfortunately, still seeking the external approval that football had conditioned me to chase. Thus began the incessant hunt for validation, success and trying to find ‘my thing’.

At 22, after university, I turned to competing in Bodybuilding to fill the football-shaped void that had been left in my life. I was physically capable of what it took to compete. But mentally and emotionally? I was unprepared. Before I had even stepped on stage I had realised bodybuilding wasn’t for me. I hadn’t rediscovered my identity and instead, imposed more pressure on myself. The fear of not being in control of my life - fuelled by the competition - manifested itself as extreme body dysmorphia and a crippling Binge Eating Disorder.

From then on, while I was smiling on the outside, the internal struggle was debilitating and dragged me into a dark place.

Binge episodes became my escape from the tightly controlled world I’d created for myself. They would be triggered by events I perceived as stressful and were my way of expressing my frustration at the loss of a life I thought was in store for me and my fear that, without football, without some ambitious goal, I didn’t know who I was. A fleeting moment of release when I relinquished control and gave into the binge was quickly followed by shame, loneliness, and the sense that my life was slipping through my fingers.

As with all good tragedies, this one came with a hearty dose of comedy in the form of irony.

I had my Bachelor’s degree in Psychology and then earned my MSc in Health Psychology & Behaviour Change, I was a Level 4 Strength & Conditioning Coach, I had received my Level 4 Nutrition Qualification all whilst battling my disorder.

On top of this, my obsessive exercising meant that, from other people’s perspective, I was a fit and healthy individual. I would go through the compounding binge and obsessing cycle over and over again, all while thinking ‘I’ve studied Psychology and Nutrition. This shouldn’t be happening to me. Am I just broken?’

This was a question I would ask myself every day. Deep down, I knew that the answer was always ‘No’.

I knew that I was capable of making a change. I had the professional expertise and personal experience that I needed to get myself out of this destructive cycle that I had been stuck in for 7 years. But something was blocking change from happening. I knew that if I could understand this block and help myself in breaking this cycle, I could help others do the same.

I would love to say it was a sort of romantic lightbulb moment in which I decided enough was enough and overcame my Binge Eating Disorder through sheer willpower alone. It wasn’t. In reality, it was months of being knocked down, learning and getting back up to try again.

There was however, one significant change I made that was the catalyst for real change. I started talking about what I was going through. Something wonderful happened after I began opening up to loved ones and attending therapy. I felt compassion —something that I had been blocking off for so long — and I gained a new perspective on my challenges. It turned out, that block I was coming up against, was me.

It was this new perspective that allowed me to view myself as if I was one of my clients. Instead of asking myself “How is this happening to me?” I asked, “How can I support this person to regain their happiness, health and confidence?”

The more I talked, observed my emotions and gained perspective, the more I was able to apply my skills. I combined my education in psychology and behaviour change, my professional expertise in nutrition and exercise, and my years of personal experience wrestling a disorder to create a holistic approach to improving my relationship with food and myself.

Over the coming months. I created a framework for change that allowed me to successfully manage and subsequently overcome my Binge Eating Disorder, once and for all.

Now, I get to offer my support to others. Through my coaching, I get to provide people with this foundation of a supportive network, a safe space to communicate and the opportunity to take ownership of your journey.

It is on this foundation that my framework for change that I created and developed during my own journey can bring about real change.

What makes it even better is this is an ever-evolving framework. The more people I work with, the more we learn about how to tackle binge eating and the further we can fine-tune the framework and make it better and better.

Getting to help others has made my entire experience with my Binge Eating Disorder worth it.

If you want to learn more about how I might be able to help you, click the button below.